Jalopnik.com: Top 10 Jeremy Clarkson quotes

  1. “Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary…That’s what gets you.”
  2. “Asking the front wheels of a car to do their normal job of steering while handling more than 170hp is like asking a man to wire a plug while juggling… penguins… while making love… to a beautiful woman while on fire, on stage… in front of the Queen. It’s all going to go wrong.”
  3. “My epiglottis is full of bees!”
  4. “I’m going to change gear now, this will involve man-touching.”
  5. “Driving most supercars is like trying to man-handle a cow up a back staircase. But this is like smearing honey into Keira Knightley.”
  6. “In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled. Usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.”
  7. “Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.”
  8. “And it’s got air-conditioning, which unlike the air-conditioning systems in Lambos of old it isn’t like being puffed on by a mouse.”
  9. “It’s a hard job. Change gear, change gear, change gear, check your mirrors, murder a prostitute, change gear, change gear, murder. That’s a lot of effort in a day.”
  10. “Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what…being stabbed?”

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